From roofs to paving, furniture to decking – materials and elegant design are what make a place noticeable
Porcelain stoneware paving
Casalgrande Padana
‘Yeah, Sharon’s here. You’re that Louis Walsh, ain’t ya? Well. We heard what you said about Jedward in the Celebrity Big Brother house. Us funny-lookin’ twins stick together. You’re not coming in.
‘Don’t give me that big talk mate. See those 20mm 40cm by 120cm Project Wood Quarto Grip R11 exterior porcelain tiles you’re standing on? Well, with a choice of finishes and thicknesses, they extend right through the club and into the VIP courtyard where your mate Lovely Shaz is havin’ a Prosecco.
‘So enjoy the feel of the VIP paving while you’ve got the chance – you’re not on the guest list.’
Landscaped Cwt-y-Bugail roof
Welsh Slate
‘Yoshizawa-san, this Lucent W1 roof is your crowning origami triumph.’
‘I didn’t do it. Wasn’t me.’
‘But the complexity of the folds! The planning compliance despite technical challenges! Unusual but functional geometry, with triangulated, faceted elements seamlessly combining with traditional mansards and the lowest angles becoming terraces! It’s the very pinnacle of the craft!’
‘It’s not paper, it’s 1,750m2 of Cwt-y-Bugail Dark Blue Grey Welsh slates on pitches between 20° and 80°, to unify a mixed-use scheme of 13 different landmark buildings. And I died in 2005. So… no.’
Kata outdoor chair
Arper
‘Bailey?’
‘Yes, Hockney?’
‘I think I’ve found them - the chairs, the iconic chairs for our new ‘DoubleDave Vision’ YouTube podcast we’re gonna do. Black Locust wood and post-consumer recycled polyester. Circular lifecycle. Designed for hosing down, so you can slop your gin and IrnBru freely. Very classic, very midcentury, very us, yet very… NOW!’
‘Iconic, you say? NOW, you say? I like it. Very zeitgeisty, Hockney. I’ll just park myself here for a portrait and keep you fed by chucking the Benson & Hedges at you.’
Exterior decking
Kebony
‘Bit of an issue with Krallerhof Spa’s swimming lake Brunhilda. We’ve lost seven guests.’
‘All blokes?’
‘All blokes. Did no-one check? The Aguane love kids, but we don’t allow them here. Conversely, they eat adult men. And now we know that’s not mythical! At all!’
‘So. We’ve built a magnet for shapeshifting feminist water faeries, with a beautiful environmentally friendly track of low maintenance double-engineered decking that literally guides them down from the mountains, then we’ve filled the water with fat juicy men. Who they eat. Excellent.’