Gnomes, mice, ratty and mole compete with Mr Darcy and opinionated ghosts to persuade you, dear reader, of the best roofing and skylights delights in PiP’s regular product round-up
Fire rated glass floor
IQ Glass
‘Look here!’, said the Water Rat. ‘I really think you had better come and stop with me for a time. It’s very plain and rough – not like Toad’s house at all – but I hope I can still make you comfortable.’
Mole was so touched by his kind manner, but then remembered the workmen he’d left earlier, installing IQ Glass’ new 60-minute layered glass fire floor in the meadow, pouring sunlight into his dark and lowly little house. With all fixings included in the package, they assured him it would be done by nightfall. ‘Plain and rough just won’t do any longer,’ he thought to himself.
HG2 patented system rooflights
Howells
‘Hi. Ghost of Alfred Lovekin industrialist here. I built it and I love it. This powdercoated aluminium glazing you’ve just done on my beloved Tudor Grange really fits my brand as a Brummagem silversmith. Not sure I like the ‘Blossomfield Park’ rebrand but, as a Victorian, obviously I love it being a patented system.’
‘Alfred Bird, Wraith Baronet here; second owner. My opinion? Plus sides? Howells’ slim lines and traditional style really keep the aesthetic of the old glazed roof. But the 40mm HG2 glazing bar and double glazed sealed units with internal stalk glazing bar are all too… solid perhaps? Where’s your trifling dessert angle? It needs more custard!’
Cupa 12 natural slate
Cupa Pizarras
We are the Gnomes! The Gnomes of Highoaks! And we claim this new building from you infill blokes! For these gardens are ours:– We’re Hillingdon ancients! We’ve endured all your digging with gnomely good patience:– But this house you’ve just built here has displaced our Gnome nation so its low carbon slates will be some compensation. Tectonic compression is muchly our vibe:– and a 100-year lifespan just right for our tribe! So ta for the house, lads! It’s awfully nice! Now do us another ’cause we don’t share with mice!
Traditional range roof gutters
Marley Alutec
It is a truth universally acknowledged that an old house in possession of a roof must be in want of traditional gutters. Mr Darcy soon drew the attention of Derbyshire’s planners with his fine, tall Traditional Square downpipes, handsome Ornamental Hoppers, architectural grade Heritage Black polyester powder coating, and the report which was in general circulation of his being BS8530 certified yet 65% lighter than cast iron. The gentlemen pronounced him to be a fine figure of a rainwater system, the ladies declared he was much handsomer than plastic, and his Traditional Moulded Ogee bolted guttering was looked upon with great admiration for about 50 years, needing only minimal maintenance and periodic aesthetic cleaning.